approach with caution

I GOT A BELLATRIX LESTRANGE SHIRT, I GOT A BELLATRIX LESTRANGE SHIRT.
thank you walmart electronic center.

i also got a record player. yes, a record player. his name is victor, and he is my one and only love. i only have a lady gaga vinyl, but with my christmas money i've bought regina spektor, bob marley, mgmt, iron & wine, lil wayne, kings of leon(an old album), bob dylan, and the beatle's best album in my opinion, abby road. the next several weeks will consist of my running to the mailbox everyday at noon like a little kid and squealing when each one comes in, and spending the rest of the day in my roon listening to buffalo soldier on repeat. it also has a cassette deck and a cd player and a radio and an ipod hookup. i just bought 500 days of summer, so i'm pretty much never leaving my room again.

dyed my hair really dark brown, putting some blonde chunks in it maybe today.

you should see natural born killers, with woody harrelson & robert downey junior, it's a helluva film. oliver stone is a god of a director.

we talked for hours last night, we haven't talked in months. you're so much better than the one that haunts me. i'm glad things are getting better for you, and i hope that we do get to go see sherlock holmes tonight. and you do look really good with short hair. rememeber when i would try to braid your long hair and you'd get annoyed and tell me to stoppit and then bum a cigarette off of me? good times, what happened? you asked me that last night, we can have new good times.

i have a habit of getting ahead of myself.

cinema italiano

i can't wait to see nine.

being sober, finally being a neatfreak, singing outloud, musicals, kelsquared and i talking about the best things, harry potter, meeting nohomo after school. this is what my life consist of right now, and it's not bad at all. i go back to school in a couple of weeks, and i finished all of my internet school work. i'm so excited i don't have the words for it. i'm learning to live without you, and that's ok. just got over a cold and i keep smoking, so my voice sounds and feels like sandpaper. i love when my voice gets hoarse. i don't have much to say right now, but i'm pretty excited for christmas.

i like this.

i like not wearing matching socks and not washing my hair and sticking my thumbs into my earlobes and eating pepperoni/cream cheese toast and singing to myself while someone's talking to me and hoping that as i'm walking down the street someone i know will honk or wave at me and falling madly in love with every semi-handsome guy that i see in public and pinning things to my walls and making things with wire and not wearing socks and spending half an hour on my hair to make it look like i just rolled out of bed and lifting my eyes up to see what i would look like with botox and pulling over on the side of the road so i can pick a cotton branch thingy to hand-spin yarn and good films and putting cream in my tea and belting out to songs in the car because my mom can't hear me and missing you and smoking cigarettes and being drunk and wrestling with boys and being relationship free and hope and love and wishes and dave matthews band and disney movies and cover songs and cell phone charms and cooking pasta.

i know what kind of mother and woman i want to be, i just wish i knew who i want to be right now.